A guide to being a Groom on your wedding day


Being a groom comes naturally to some men. They just knock it out of the park. I can’t say that was the case for me and I’ve put together this little guide to pass on some knowledge from both sides of the camera about how to be a great groom on your wedding day.

  1. Introduction

  2. Preparing for your wedding

  3. Just before the wedding day

  4. On your wedding day

  5. Summary

1. Introduction

Being a Groom on your wedding day puts you almost fully in the spotlight.

Some men are made for it…

Some aren’t. This quick post is a little guide to make the most of your wedding and really pull out the stops for your beautiful bride.

Your wedding day is precious. Its full of details that you never thought were possible.

It’s expensive too – as we all know. Where some men just see the wedding costs, and the planning needed, some men get involved and really pull their weight.

I married my amazing wife in Mexico in 2012.

The best advice I got from my best friend (I was his best man) was:

Make sure that you get involved. I stood back too much at the planning phase and it came across as if I didn’t want the wedding. Get stuck in and get making decision as a couple rather than leaving her to it.

I did what he suggested and I got stuck in. I made sure that I had the photographer and videographer of my choice and helped out with the stationery side of things.

My wedding day was the best day of my life.

2. Preparing for your wedding

You don’t have to just sit on the sidelines.

Your wife might want to take control but that doesn’t mean you don’t get a say in your vendors or extra services that you want on your big day.

Lots of grooms just do a quick Google search for vendors and then send on a list to their brides to be. Try not to fall into that trap or you might just send your fiancee a vendor from America without knowing it… and she’ll know that all you’ve done is a 1 minute Google search…

One of the areas that grooms seem to get involved with is the finance side of things. As a photographer, one of my best grooms had a full spreadsheet of costs and kept track of each vendor. He logged all of their contact details and when payments should be made. This kept a running total to be able to make sure that they stayed in budget.

Get stuck in with organising your Groomsmen and your suits. Don’t be afraid of delegating things to do to your best man – this will show you if you’ve picked the best man for the job.

3. Just before the wedding day

Brides will get a little stressed the week of the wedding. Take some pressure off by asking what she needs help with and it will go down a treat.

Place cards.



Final numbers.

The list goes on for the last minute things to do and if you can lighten the load then it will definitely help your fiance relax more.

I’d also suggest taking her away somewhere just before the wedding so that she can take her mind off of things and be a little more relaxed for the run up to the big day.

Know your day!

Know when the cake has to arrive by.

Know when the band should be setting up.

Know how many bottles of wine your collective guests are getting.

This knowledge helps you delegate tasks for your Groomsmen if there are any changes on the day itself. It will help!

Get your speech written well in time! Take the pressure off of yourself and don’t leave your speech until the night of your wedding.

Think about sending over any gifts to your bride the night before.

Plan any extra surprises with her bridal party to make the day or morning of your wedding extra special to her.

4. On your wedding day

So you’ve helped out so far and you know what the day has in store.

You’ll have to remember about gifts for mums, bridesmaids, Groomsmen and anyone else important to you on the day.

Don’t forget about page Boys’ suits and get yours ready the night before with everything else you need.

Another area where you can shine is for your photographer and videographer.

The more willing you are to be hopelessly romantic, the better your photographs and videography will turn out.

We want to see you get loving with your bride – we’re there to capture that.

My best grooms relax and allow us to take over when we need to. A decent wedding photographer and videographer will stand back when they need to and capture those candid moments, then stage and direct you when it’s needed.

I always suggest that couples write letters and read them in front of the camera on the day. Some grooms feel that it’s not for them – and that’s great. It’s my job to make you comfortable and do as little or as much as you truly want.

This is where you need to be open and honest with your photographer and videographer from your initial chats so that they can plan their shots and act accordingly.

Another point is to make sure that you’re happy with the way the day goes.

If you only want to spend only 15 minutes away from your guests for couples photography and videography, then make it known before or on the day.

The best photographers and videographers will ask the right questions, but the lesser-experienced ones might keep you away from your wedding guests for far too long.

5. Summary

It’s your day too, not just your brides.

Yes, make her the centre of your efforts and attention but also make it a special day for yourself too so that you can enjoy it as a couple.

So when she’s a little stressed out (it happens), take the burden away and let her put her feet up.

Try and get involved.

Try and help her out when you can and I promise that you’ll enjoy your wedding day that little bit more!

Thanks for reading!

Want to know more about commissioning me for your wedding videography? I cover Northern Ireland, Ireland, the UK and destination weddings. For more information just get in touch.


Mark Barnes,

Wedding photographer

Northern Ireland, Ireland and beyond.

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